Good ideas from the Good Idea Fairies have destroyed this town. You are probably as tired as I am of having to rehash old news, but... I’ll be as brief and entertaining as possible: 1) Sue the railroad (to persuade them to stay) over an outdated agreement in which EVERYBODY already knew was rescinded by a newer agreement and pay the attorney $300,000 to lose even though said city attorney swore it would only cost $75,000 to win. 2) The immoral and unethical use of eminent domain (seizure) (outright theft) of private property for pennies on the dollar in the hope of making millions and now look at who’s mowing whose grass (Manor). 3) Throw themselves at a private company because they wanted to be like the Jones’ (Ottumwa), then lose millions while calling $49,000 in sales profit, then give an interest free loan to same company while paying interest on a loan used to loan said company who they originally “begged” to partner with (Huck’s Harbor). 4) Outright lie by stating “we don’t own that (and we don’t care what our own map looks like) so we won’t pave it and you’ll have to take us to court if you want us to pay half” (Tama Road), 5) “Spending almost double of what we take in is not a problem because we just won’t take out anymore loans and we’ll retire the old debt,” then, within seconds, when asked “How will you replace cascade bridge?” the response is “We’ll have to take out a new loan.” 6) And at the next session whip out a “written statement” from way out in right field that says, “I’ve decided it would be a good idea to abandon our current high and dry city hall and move to a low and very wet location preferably a building that was abandoned as a result of the flood damage in 1993, and it would be even better if it was damaged further from the flood of 2008. And don’t worry about future flooding because we’ll build one of those flood wall thingees that keep floods out AND we’ll go for pre-post-during flood grants from the Grant Fairy who is a second cousin of the Good Idea Fairy.” And when ask “will the Grant Fairy pay the entire cost of the move from high and dry ground to low and very wet ground?” the answer is “no, we’ll have to take out another loan.”

 Dan Cahill, one of the three Des Moines County Supervisors, summed up the horse sense thoughts of us all concerning Doug Worden’s latest “good idea inspired by the Good Idea Fairy” asking, “what kind of cigarettes are they smoking down there?”(Or something to that effect).

 In the various Army units I’ve served in over the years, we invariably would have a “good idea fairy” that survived a unit reset. Good Idea Fairy generated ideas would constantly come down the Pike that would cripple the unit. Saving things was usually a simple matter of one person within the chain of command with some common sense killing the Good Idea Fairy with extreme prejudice. Then simply do what you are trained to do and what you are supposed to do. Basically just do what Soldiers traditionally do. The problem the City of Burlington has is the current city manager is acting just like the previous city manager and is not content just providing traditional city services and keeping our property taxes at a reasonable level. Burlington has been plagued by good ideas for the last five to six years. Well longer when you count Derby’s Ditch. This city has suffered the Good Idea Fairy for long enough. We have to kill Burlington’s Good Idea Fairy that has infected our ‘manager’, let horse sense take over, and get the city government back to providing traditional city government services. What is horse sense? If your horse doesn’t want to go there, you better not go there. As a side note the U.S. Army has never lost a war where mules (half horse!) were used. Anyway let’s quit whipping our horse to go where no city should go and turn this catastrophe known as city government around. Here’s how:

Doug Worden please submit your letter of resignation, now, or at high noon on any given day before the next city council meeting. If you do not resign, then a petition drive WILL ensue and within one month, the Mayor of Burlington will be handed said petition calling for your ouster. Once that is completed, a new petition will begin that calls for a referendum giving We the People of this city the chance to vote on what form of city government we have; whether we keep the current failed “City Manager” form or go to the more traditional and accountable directly elected “Mayor is Manager” form. 

The two different forms of government will be broken out in more detail once that ball gets rolling, but for now let’s just stop the hemorrhaging, and get Worden out of there. In all seriousness he’s obviously lost it. We’ll see immediate improvement on all accounts once he’s gone.

PS: I was informed Steve Delaney, big cheese The Hawk Eye Editorial staff, in Sunday’s editorial (24 JAN ’10) thinks moving city hall to the rail depot is a good idea. I can see where Steve Delaney would like that idea. As a junior communist who is literally in love with Vladimir Putin (remember Steve getting all giddy over Vladimar’s shirtless photo last summer, 2009? If you don’t subscribe that rag, look it up, you’ll see what I’m talking about, and it’ll reaffirm the reason you cancelled your subscription in the first place). Comrade Steve would think our current city hall is to bourgeoisie, what with our ‘current’ City Hall’s ‘pillars’ complete with some real tile and porcelain in it. I’m sure he’d like to see our new city hall built out of the commie’s favorite building material, concrete. Anybody who’s ever toured an East European country of the former Soviet Bloc will know what I’m talking about. And speaking of Comrade Delaney I have no idea why The Hawk Eye’s owners are allowing their paper to sink to the status of fish wrap. But they are “from out of staters” and obviously don’t need the money.
 
I’m sorry I can’t quite. This city seems to be run by Prince, or the former Prince, or whatever purple rain dudes name is now. Do we really need to muck things up further? For instance-the “Free Public Library”, is now the “Appletree Museum”. The former Appletree Museum is called “I don’t know what.” The former “Mercy Hospital” is now the “Riverside Park Place.” The “Mississippi River” is now called “Great River.” If the soon to be ousted city manager has his way the “City Hall” will be named the “Southeast Iowa Regional Planning Commission.” I can’t wait to see how much it is going to cost us to cut out of the stone “City Hall” and cut in “Southeast Iowa Regional Planning Commission.” Hopefully the new ‘name in stone’ will be the abbreviation, SEIRPC. It’s all out of whack, but certainly is the sign of the times; Begging for grants, and its brother borrowing, is the only answer our city manager and his puppet council comes up with time and time again. So let’s just go ugly early and fill City Hall with the professional beggars known as SEIRPC. And maybe our soon to be ousted city manager really does think he is doing city business by moving city service providers to the rail depot. Certainly that will make city services more efficient as it will be easier for city employees to direct our immigrants arriving by train from Chicago to “Candyland’s” (formerly called “Little Chicago” formerly called “Burlington”) free handout locales.
Any city council member(s) who stands up to the Good Idea Fairy, kills the ‘Good Idea’ of moving City Hall and get’s this city back to the work of providing traditional city services, will receive all the respect and accolades this retired Soldier and We the People of this City can give. More so if you stop the puppet like manner of nodding your head up and down whenever Doug Worden tells you to. May God bless you if see through this foolishness and stand up to resist it. Besides, soon you won’t have Doug’s Good Idea Fairy inspiration to look to and you’ll have to figure out when to bob your head up and down on your own anyway.

One more related item. Anyone out there who has an itching to return to their hometown formerly known as Burlington, please do yourself a favor and kill that  idea from the Good Idea Fairy quick. Don’t waste one penny of your kid’s college savings or you retirement savings on this socialist utopia. At least not until we get the city formerly known as Burlington back into American control. Look for a Red, White and Blue flare. That’ll be the signal we’ve retaken the high (and dry) ground.
 

Major Bradley E. Bourn
U.S. Army (Retired)
Uburlington.com Political Editor